Sunday, February 16, 2014

Journal Entry 2/7/2014


I work part-time in a building that is home to many non-profit agencies. I usually get in by 7:30AM. During this “polar vortex” winter I have been so grateful to open the doors to this 5-story building and enter the warm and spacious foyer. Always, as I unbutton the first button on my coat I begin to think that were I homeless I would try and find as many buildings as possible that opened early and didn’t have guards or keys to prevent unwanted visitors. I think how knowing that would allow me to sneak away from the cold for a few minutes…perhaps for enough time to get warm and maybe even go to the bathroom and wash up a little, including combing my hair and brushing my teeth. I think how, in my building, there is a corner hidden from immediate view, where I could curl up for a moment or two and rest, pretty sure that I would not be seen for awhile because of the early morning hour and the pressures of work/family/life we all seem to walk with.


I wonder who would be the first “legitimate” person to see me? Would it be one of the maintenance people going out to salt the sidewalk…or someone who had to come into work but then go right back out again to attend a meeting or conference. Maybe it would be someone in the women’s room while I was brushing my hair or teeth. Who would it be that would find it necessary to report me…how would they speak to me…harshly or with respect…would I be threatened with removal and told to never come back again…who would assume that it was I who left the “messy splash” on the counter top in the bathroom or failed to flush the toilet after use, even though those things had happened countless times before by the “legitimate” people who worked here.

As the scenarios race through my mind, I feel sad and frustrated that anyone should have to be cold and then, from within me I feel rage start swirling around within me…working towards eruption as it occurs to me that the reason this building is warm is because they probably keep the heat on overnight so that the pipes won’t freeze! “WHAT” I scream…so the fucking pipes won’t freeze! How many damn buildings keep their heat on 24/7 so that their damn pipes won’t freeze? A big empty building is toasty warm because keeping pipes from freezing is far more important than keeping people from freezing. This is shameful... I mean dammit…until we systemically end homelessness let’s demand that every foyer of every building be open to all people. Just maybe we could not only save the pipes from freezing but maybe…just maybe…we might actually start to save a few people from freezing...freezing to death. 

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