Sunday, December 6, 2009

Thank you...it brought a smile to my face!



For many years now I have been making a weekly trip to Gloucester to meet with my therapist and work towards dealing with my past, being in the present and looking to the future.  The work is hard and painful but, at the same time, it is also freeing and hopeful.  The combination of the Gloucester Coast, beautiful woodlands, quarries and wildlife have been gifts that have made the trip everything from tolerable to incredibly beautiful.  


A couple of years ago, another gift manifested on my trip to and from Gloucester.  It was around this time of the year, driving home after a particularly difficult session, when I first noticed it.  Feeling sad and heavy I suddenly became aware of bright shiny red, gold, green and silver ornament balls hanging on the trees that lined Rte. 128 in Gloucester.  One of the decorated trees was even in the median and it had more ornaments on it than I could count.  I couldn't help but smile at the sight and wondered to myself how did all these decorations get there and then began to imagine what the person or persons would look like going from tree to tree, undoubtedly trying not to get "caught" by the authorities, as they dressed both the naked and still green trees with ornaments.  


As I continued my drive home, I began to notice that I didn't feel quite so heavy....the weight I had been feeling seemed much lighter from what I believe was the power of the smile that spontaneously and seemingly out of my control crept across my face and filled my being with "smile" feelings.  I remember feeling so grateful to whoever had decorated the trees and began thinking about ways I might be able to leave something along another way that just might bring a smile to another. 


Last year I have no recall of seeing the decorated trees...perhaps they were there but I missed them...nonetheless....this past Wednesday on my weekly trip to Gloucester, there they were once again bringing not only a smile to my face but indeed, an out loud chuckle as well as an out loud declaration of "they're back"!   I was so happy and grateful to see them again.  This year they were a little different...it seemed as if two ornaments were strategically placed on naked branches along the side of Rte 128, at a location and height quite easy to see while driving.  The first thing I said when I walked into my therapists' office  was "they're back"!   And on the way home, more smiles danced across my face as there was even a decorated tree in the median.


Now holidays have been a hard time for me over the years... I mean I haven't exactly been of the "bah humbug" nature but they are troubling for me from both a personal history perspective and from a materialistic and collective one as well.  Yet, the time, effort and expense some person of group of persons extended anonymously to place what I consider more "secular" decorations where one would least expect to see them continues to bring a smile to my face.  I don't imagine whoever decorated these trees could ever really know just how much it means to me...in part because I am still awed at how much joy I get out of it.  Part of me really wants to know the story behind it all.... but for now, I will just enjoy what I have seen and let go with thanks and gratitude to whoever is responsible.