I was sitting in my car at the T waiting for my daughter Karin. A young white man, perhaps in his late twenties, was walking back and forth slowly…he saw that I was smoking. As our eyes met he asked if I had a cigarette I could spare. “Of course.” I said and gave him a couple. He thanked me and we began talking about the weather and how his cell phone had died and how he was now waiting for his girlfriend to come and pick him up.
I explained I was waiting for my daughter and that he could use my cell if he wanted but he said I don’t know any numbers…”they are all programmed into my cell phone”. We both laughed and I said isn’t it terrible…I used to know all my friends phone numbers and now…he smiled knowingly.
He had such a gentle spirit and as we talked it was amazing how we went from the weather to more personal information. He mentioned how his dad had been in the merchant marines and I said how both interesting and hard that must have been for him…interesting because of the places his father would have traveled…hard because it must have meant he was away a lot. He seemed surprised that I knew both ends of it…and then, with an ever so slight shrug, mentioned that his childhood home was quite dysfunctional. I smiled and said yes…mine too. But then I told him that it does give us an opportunity…we can stay stuck in the cycle of dysfunction or…we can try and make things different for ourselves as adults and certainly, for our kids. I told him that I was proud because I experienced my children and I as having created a really positive family unit. Certainly, there were difficulties…but still, I went onto say, that at 40 and 35, my son, daughter and I remain very close and supportive of one another. They like him and me have issues…but we keep working on what was to better be present for what is… to help create positive changes for what’s to come.
He smiled and went onto share that sometimes he feels as if he is 10 years older than he actually is and yet, it is only now that he is beginning to understand that his actions do affect others. “Wow” I said…some people never get that…good for you! He did feel like a very old soul to me…with a core of gentleness, kindness mixed in with wisdom. I told him that and that he reminded me of my children and that it is not always easy to walk this earth in such a way.
At this point his girlfriend came and they cuddled into each other in a very sweet and affectionate way. I told her that he was very special and she giggled and agreed. I also felt her energy to be very kind, gentle and fun and told her that as well. We said good-bye and as they walked away I looked up to see my daughter walking towards me. The young man and his girlfriend were about twenty feet away when he turned around and walked back towards my car with his hand open and extended. When he reached my window he took my hand, which had drifted out of my car to receive his, and said, “My name is Peter…thank you”. As we physically connected, it felt so good inside of me…the moments we shared were so meaningful to me and his gesture seemed to say that they were to him as well. I wished him all the best that there is and he said he wished me the same and quickly added the same wishes for my son and daughter.
As Karin got into the car she asked who he was. I told her about my precious and unexpected moments of conversation…she looked at me and we both smiled, and then, feeling a little more whole, I fastened my seat belt and we headed home.
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